(what's behind the badge?)

This show is going to be nuts - too bad I won't be here.

(i made some wax wawfuls)

(the tradewinds)

Yeayea! After seemingly endless delays, The Tradewinds 7" is available on Gilgongo Records...



Here's the story... waaaay back in 2008, Teague, Kelly and I were in a pop-punk band called The Tradewinds. We recorded six songs at my Tempe house just as Kelly moved up to Portland. Months passed. The guy that was putting out the record disappeared from the face of the earth. James Fella came to the rescue and said that he would put it out on Gilgongo. Further delays were incurred due to several bad test presses, love triangles, more delays at the pressing plant, and my own negligence as to what to do for artwork.

But all of those things are water under the proverbial pop-punk bridge. Sure, we're not a bona-fide band anymore - we only play a couple times a year now, whenever we're in the same place at the same time. But nevertheless, I'm excited that this record is out. I'm really proud of it and I'm excited for people to hear it even if it is a little bit late.



The record is $5ppd from Gilgongo.
The Gilgongo online store is here.
Or go to Eastside Records in Tempe and get it there.
Or click here to download it for free.
Or don't.... whatevz.

(gnat clouds)

(the news is so depressing these days)

Earlier this month, Arizona governor Jan Brewer signed a gun law allowing Arizonans to carry concealed arms without the hassle a permit. But more recently, in the wake of SB 1070 and the "birther bill", authorities are warning Arizona residents to keep their homestate identities to themselves while traveling outside the state.

"It's just not safe for Arizonans to travel around openly anymore," says Tyrone Terranova of the Arizona Board for Styrofoam Consumption. "A friend of a friend told me about a guy that was harassed in Portland after someone overhead that he was from (Arizona)." (Update: apparently there was a lot of cocaine and "hipster drama" involved. No one can really remember much of anything.)

"This is just terrible," says Arizona resident Darryl Herwig. "I remember just after 9/11 when I was backpacking through Europe. They said that it wasn't safe for Americans so I did my best to fake a South African accent. But someone from South Africa thought I was making fun of them and they beat me up pretty bad."

With the summer heat rapidly approaching, many Arizonans will have to put their vacation plans on hold. "I just don't know what to do" says Garrett Balcos. "All these other states have it totally backwards. I don't feel safe most places because they don't allow me to carry my pistol under my jacket. It's scary to know that some violent, cracked out Mexican or gay-wad could attack me and I would be totally defenseless."

Senator John McCain, typically a centrist on border issues, has half-heartedly embraced the new bill for fear of losing his Senate seat to J.D. "marry-a-horse" Hayworth in the upcoming midterm elections.

"I was born and raised in Arizona," says resident Greg McCumber. "It was hard to, but I fought hard against the prevailing Arizona winds and learned how to read and write." Greg is one of tens of thousands of Arizona residents with IQ scores above 85 that have been voicing their outrage on social media websites like Facebook and Twitter while thousands more are engaging in protests.

(pre, post)

(up and coming)

April 16 - Performing w/ Pigeon Religion at Revolver Records in Phoenix for Record Store Day...


April 17 - Performing w/ Pigeon Religion at Eastside Records in Tempe for Anti-Record Store Day alongside Eddy Detroit (!) of Sun City Girls...


Hours later, performing w/ French Quarter at The Tribe in Phoenix. This rager benefit for Tempe-based Bike Saviours will include The Pods, Chandails, Tightholes, DJ Glochids, Nataraja, and the debut of the international smash sensation The Teeets...


April 20 - Performing w/ French Quarter at The Trunkspace in Phoenix alongside City Center...

(the vine, haikus)

Oh petty distress!
Your heavy weight cripples me
I have suffered loss

Aroused from slumber
I gazed out of a window
And ruined my day

Tiny backyard, woe
So depressingly barren
The vine is now gone

Not a trace remains
The cat's claw has been removed
"De-clawed" you might say

Can I place the blame?
The landscapers meant no ill
But they should have known

(Granted, there is more
They fucked up the internet
While cutting the vine)

But for now, mourning
Lament for the cat's claw plant
No longer with us...

Where do I begin?
It made this quaint house complete
Bringer of soft joy

It's beauty eased our
Urban desert living space
The sole sign of life

It was kind to us
A green and yellow curtain
That absorbed the sun

Photosynthesis
Watered by A/C runoff
And trimmed with mild care

Rest in peace, dear vine
Every time I look outside
I will think of you



But now, just outside,
An existential crisis...
How can I go on?

Beauty is now dead
Replaced with aesthetic doom
Birthing depression

Haikus ease my pain
But my yard has lost it's soul
And my heart is black

Fucking stupid yard
You're a life-sucking mass of
Concrete and stucco



This void ails me so
But I find comfort knowing
The cat's claw lives on

My dear friend Sarah
She made paper out of you
Out of your seed pods

She gathered them up
Over a couple of days
And took them to school

Her labor bore fruit
Thick, brown, beautiful paper
I have a whole stack